Good SuperSaiyan Kakarot & Bad SuperSaiyan Vegeta
by Mia Skywalker
Summary: A fairy tale turned DBZ. Based on the rather obscure fairy tale 'Faithful Ferdinand and Unfaithful Ferdinand'.


This fic is due to a discussion on a list I'm on, concerning DBZ and fairy tales. The odd style (and some of the strange things that people do) is because I wanted to capture the feel of a Grimm's fairy tale. Keep in mind that there IS some OOCness, because that's the only way to keep the fairy tale feel. I kept both as much of the characterization of the DBZ characters as possible, without ruining the fairy tale feel. When you review this, keep this in mind. If you aren't familiar with Grimms' fairy tales, then you probably shouldn't review this, just read it for fun.  
  
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TITLE: Good Super Saiyan Kakarot and Bad Super Saiyan Vegeta  
AUTHOR: Mia Skywalker  
PAIRING: Bulma/Vegeta, Goku/Chi-chi  
RATING: Totally G.  
WARNINGS: A silly fairy tale turned DBZ. ^_^  
SUMMARY: Based loosely on the fairy tale "Faithful Ferdinand and Unfaithful Ferdinand"  
NOTES: I had to change some of the fairy tale to get this to work, but I managed to keep an awful lot intact. A surprising amount, actually. I think most of the bits I changed were relatively minor, and they were just to keep the characters IC. Oh, I did change the very end pairing, because Goku was supposed to marry the princess, and I didn't think he deserved anything THAT horrible! You'll see when you get to the end, but it's why I made the princess be Bulma and paired her off with Vegeta. In this, they seriously deserved each other! ^_^  
  
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Once upon a time there was an old man who lived by himself. He'd never married, but wished that he could have had children, but the opportunity never happened. One day an old green-skinned namek knocked at his door and handed him a baby. Without waiting for a reply, the namek said, "His name is Good Super Saiyan Kakarot. Raise him well," and vanished. He also gave the old man a key, and told him that when the boy became a man, that there would be a building one day in the field, and the key would fit into a lock in it. The old man raised his 'grandson', faithfully telling him what the old namek had relayed, and every year on his birthday little Goku (which is what the old man called him, since he didn't like the name 'Kakarot' very much) would go out to the field, looking for the building.   
  
One day, on his twelfth birthday, the building appeared. Elated, little Goku unlocked the door, to find a little yellow cloud hovering in the air. The cloud bounced up and down, nudging him, and with a shout of delight, the little boy jumped on the cloud and flew off.  
  
They spent several weeks flying around, and when they came back, they found that Goku's grandfather had grown so sick with worry that he was on his deathbed. Contritely, the boy apologized, and his grandfather forgave him, but he still died. So Goku took off to explore the world.  
  
After he had ridden on for a while he came to a sea, where he discovered seven fishes lying on the shore and gasping for air. "Wait, my little fishes," he said, "and I'll help you back into the water." He grabbed the fishes by the tails and threw them back into the water. The fishes stuck their heads out of the sea and said, "Since you helped us out of the mud, we're going to give you a flute. Whenever you're in trouble, just play it, and we'll come to your aid."  
  
Goku continued on and had many adventures, and eventually, several years later, he was passing an abandoned castle and saw a shorter young man with hair sticking straight up, who was blowing up parts of the castle angrily. Goku flew down on his cloud and asked the other young man what he was doing. The smaller man crossed his arms over his chest, stuck his nose up in the air, and said, "My name is Bad Super Saiyan Vegeta, and I am the Prince of Vegeta-sei! But my kingdom has been destroyed, and I want revenge on the one who destroyed it."  
  
Goku brightened and said, "Wow, that's close to my name! My name is Good Super Saiyan Kakarot, but I go by the name Goku since I don't like Kakarot very much."  
  
"Well, Kakarot," said Vegeta, deliberately using the name that Goku didn't like, "why don't we travel together, since our names are so similar."  
  
"All right," said Goku agreeably, "but don't call me Kakarot." And the two traveled on. Vegeta couldn't fly on Goku's cloud, they discovered, so Goku traveled slower so that they could move together.  
  
The next town they went to they stayed at an inn. The man who ran it had a pretty dark-haired girl named Chi-chi. She immediately fell in love with Goku, which irritated Vegeta, since it seemed that girls always went for Goku first. He didn't understand why, since he thought the other man was an idiot. She asked Goku where he was going, and he said he was traveling about. She wanted him to stay there and said that he should work for the king, as a messenger or outrider, since he could always fly about on the cloud. Goku thought that was a great idea, but didn't think he could just offer his services to the king out of the blue like that, a total stranger. "Oh, I'll take care of that," Chi-chi said. "But my father might give me your hand, if you ask him for it."  
  
Goku had no idea what she was talking about, but he replied eagerly, "I'll take anything that your father will give me!" Chi-chi blushed happily, assuming that the young man wanted to marry her, and so was happy to give the king her greatest recommendation.  
  
The next day she went to the king, and since her father - Gyu Mao - had once been an elite fighter of King Roshi's, he agreed to hire the man that she recommended. So Goku started working for the king as an outrider and messenger, traveling around on his little cloud.  
  
Vegeta was immediately jealous of course. "Why didn't you get *me* a job with the king as well?" he demanded of Chi-chi angrily. "You can't just help him and forget about me!" Ki started forming around his hand, and she could sense that he was getting angry.  
  
"I'll get you a job too, Vegeta," she agreed, afraid to get him angry with her, and she approached the king again. Since the king was so pleased with the other servant that she'd recommended to him, he agreed to hire this one as well, as his personal valet.  
  
Well, being the king's personal valet, he heard all of the king's secrets. Every morning he would hear the king complain, "Oh, if only my beloved could be here with me! But I've sent hero after hero to get her, and none have survived the journey!"  
  
"What are you talking about?" Vegeta grumped at him, and King Roshi showed him pictures of a beautiful princess whom his spies had managed to catch pictures of when she was showering, half-unclad, or getting undressed for bed. Vegeta watched with disgust as King Roshi salivated over this beautiful young girl, waxing on about how much in love with each other they were, but they were torn apart by families that didn't understand. ::Yeah, right, old man:: Vegeta thought cynically. ::She probably doesn't even know you exist. But this might be the perfect opportunity to get rid of Kakarot.::  
  
"Well, your majesty," Vegeta said slyly. "You have Kakarot. Why don't you send him after the woman? And tell him that if he fails, he's dead!"  
  
"Kakarot? Who's that?" The old man blinked at him in confusion.  
  
Vegeta's face darkened. "Kakarot! The idiot with the flying cloud!"  
  
"Oh, Goku!" Understanding dawned on King Roshi's face. "Yes, with his flying cloud, surely he should be able to bring her to me! I'll send for him!" Then he blinked at Vegeta in confusion. "But why do you call him 'Kakarot'?"  
  
And so Goku was ordered to go after the princess or be beheaded. Goku walked out to an open field, and sat there depressed, his cloud trailing along after him. "What an unlucky person I am!" he cried out.  
  
"Good Super Saiyan Kakarot, why are you crying?" came a voice.  
  
Goku turned around, saw nobody near him, and continued to moan. "Oh little cloud! You'll be free soon! I'm going to my doom!"  
  
Then he heard the voice again. "Good Super Saiyan Kakarot, why are you crying?"  
  
Suddenly Goku realized it was his cloud talking. "Is that you, cloud? Can you talk? I've got to go and fetch the king's bride. Can you tell me how to do it?"  
  
"Go to the king," the cloud replied, "and tell him that if he'll give you what you need, you'll get her, and that you'll need a shipload of meat and a shipload of bread to succeed. There are huge giants in the sea, and if you don't bring them meat, they'll tear you to pieces. And there are huge birds that'll peck your eyes out if you don't bring them bread."  
  
So the king ordered all the butchers in the land to slaughter animals and all the bakers to bake bread until the ships were loaded. When they were full, the cloud said to Goku, "Now, I want you to climb on me and go aboard the ships with me. When the giants come, you're to say:  
  
'Easy does it, my dear giants,  
don't think that I've forgotten you,  
for I've brought you meat to chew.'  
  
"And when the birds come, you're to say:  
  
'Easy does it, my nice dear birds,  
don't think that I've forgotten you,  
for I've brought you bread to chew.' [1]  
  
"Then they won't do anything to you, and when you come to the castle, you'll find the princess lying asleep, but you mustn't wake her. Pick her up with the bed and carry her to the ship."  
  
So Goku went to the castle, but when he went to lift up the bed, she woke up. "What are you doing!" she screeched at him. "Where are you taking me?"  
  
Goku blinked, and put the bed back down. "I'm taking you to get married," he replied simply.  
  
Her eyes narrowed. She assumed, of course, that he meant for her to marry him. She studied him, to see if he was a worthy bridegroom. He was strong, he was handsome, and he'd somehow managed to make it to her castle. "All right, you may take me," she said imperiously. "My name is Princess Bulma. You may take me to get married."  
  
Goku smiled at her, then picked up the bed again, and carried her to the ship. When he reached the king, and Princess Bulma was informed that she was not to marry Goku but was to marry King Roshi, she almost had a fit. She took one look at the drooling old man, and started screeching and having a temper tantrum. The king hardly seemed aware of her reaction to him, as he tried to have his lecherous way with her. She finally swooned, saying that she was under an enchantment and couldn't get married or lie with a man, or else she would die. The only way that the enchantment could be broken was to gather the seven dragonballs made by the great Kami. But she didn't know where the dragonballs were, since they'd vanished the last time they were used. [2]  
  
Once again, Bad Super Saiyan Vegeta slyly approached the king while he was dressing him the next morning, and the king was lamenting his great misfortune. "Your servant Kakarot managed to bring you the princess, when everyone else failed to do so. Surely he can bring you something as simple as the dragonballs. And if he doesn't, you can have him killed!" Vegeta seemed inordinately pleased at that idea. The king agreed, and that day Goku was summoned and told that he must bring the seven dragonballs, or he would be killed.  
  
Once again Goku went to the abandoned field, and began to moan. "How am I going to bring the seven dragonballs, when no one even knows where they are? How am I supposed to find them?"  
  
But Goku's little cloud then came to him and said, "Good Super Saiyan Kakarot, the dragonballs are deep within the sea, buried under the silt. You must go to the ocean to get them out."  
  
"But I can't swim that far," Goku protested. Nonetheless, he flew on his cloud to the edge of the ocean. Then he pulled out the flute that he'd been given, and the seven fish that he'd saved before appeared in the water. "There are seven dragonballs in the depths of the ocean," he told the seven fish. "I need to bring those dragonballs back to the king, or I will be killed." The seven fish disappeared, and then returned a few minutes later, each one with a dragonball in its mouth. Goku was overjoyed, and brought the dragonballs to the king, who immediately handed them to Princess Bulma.  
  
The princess wasn't pleased by this turn of events. She still wanted to marry Goku - or at least, anyone that wasn't the lecherous King Roshi - so she decided on one last trick. When all the noblemen were gathered together to celebrate the marriage, she said that she knew some magic. She said, in fact, that she could cut off a head and put it back on, and she wanted a volunteer to demonstrate her skill. No one wanted to be the first, of course, but then Vegeta commented, "Isn't Kakarot the Good Super Saiyan, the great hero that not only brought the princess here, but also the dragonballs? Isn't he brave enough to volunteer? Come on, Kakarot! Surely you're not afraid of some *woman*!"  
  
And so Goku felt obliged to volunteer. The queen then cut off his head and put it on again, and it healed immediately. Only a red thread appeared around his neck, where she had cut him.  
  
"My dear," said King Roshi, "where did you learn that?"  
  
"Oh," she replied, "I know many more tricks like that. Shall I try it out on you too?"  
  
"What will you give me in return?" he asked, drooling lecherously.  
  
She leaned forward. "I'll show you my panties again, if you do!"  
  
So the hentai old king agreed, and the queen cut off his head, but she did not put it back on again. Instead, she said that it wouldn't stick properly, so she couldn't get it on again. "Oh dear!" she said, her eyelashes fluttering innocently. "I guess I'll have to marry Goku instead!"  
  
Goku looked at her in confusion, having no idea what she meant. "He can't marry you," a voice came from the crowd, and the innkeeper's daughter, Chi-chi, strode forward. "He's already betrothed to me, so he can't marry you. Besides, he's a commoner, and you're a princess."  
  
Princess Bulma pouted, but then Vegeta grinned wickedly and strode forward. "But *I* am not a commoner!" he exclaimed. "I am Bad Super Saiyan Vegeta, Prince of Vegeta-sei, and I'd sworn revenge on King Roshi for destroying my kingdom. Now I've had my revenge, so I'll marry you, woman!"  
  
Bulma studied him for several minutes, and then smiled, a slow, pleased smile. He wasn't as tall as Goku, but he was handsome and strong, and she could tell that he was much more clever than the other man. Besides, he was a prince, and she wasn't going to marry a commoner. "All right," she agreed, "I'll marry you."  
  
And so Prince Bad Super Saiyan Vegeta married Princess Bulma, and they became King and Queen of old King Roshi's kingdom, and Good Super Saiyan Kakarot - aka Goku - married Chi-chi, and they ran the inn. Now while we can say that Goku and Chi-chi had a relatively happy marriage, it's more difficult to say the same of Vegeta and Bulma. They did have two children, and they seemed to fight an awful lot, but every so often one would see the two looking at one another with fondness, even though they would never admit it to each other.  
  
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[1] I'm not making these poems up. They really are from the fairy tale! No *way* I could write any poetry *that* bad! ^_^  
  
[2] This part I changed from the fairy tale. You wouldn't *believe* how stupid the second quest was! I stole this quest from several other fairy tales, modified somewhat.  



End file.
